It’s possible that tumblr isn’t as great a place for this kind of blogging as, say, wordpress.
However, I care not about such things. At least, not enough right now to start a wordpress instead. Buh. Social media is hard.
It’s been a few months since my first post (maybe longer, but who’s keeping track?), and I just wanted to update on what I’ve been doing, so that there’s proof somewhere of my small successes.
1. I have an apartment! This was an important goal, and now it is achieved. +5 points to Adulthood! It’s a beautiful place in a beautiful part of town (South End), and maybe the price is too high for someone who just graduated and moved to a new city without a job, but I DONT CARE, IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL LALALALALA.
2. I have a job! This happened just today, callooh callay! She chortled in her joy… #lewiscarol #readabook
It’s just at a coffee shop, but it’s a really cool coffee shop called Pavement in a really cool part of town (Newbury St), and gosh darnit, someone better be jealous of me and my slightly above minimum wage! :<
It’s also possible that I could land this job at MIT for post production, because my lovely aunt has a connection there, but somehow I doubt that’s going to happen.
However, the cafe job is actually really good for someone who wants to have the flexibility to do the occasional PA job or contract job, and someone who wants to go home at night and not think about work and instead work on creative projects.
3. I have networked a teeny tiny bit! I have my job as a boom operator for Bloody Hammer, which has gotten me some friends in the indie production scene in Boston, my possible internship at Brickyard VFX, which got me into the door of Peel & Eat editing boutique and Element Productions, where I awkwardly introduced myself for no reason (“Oh I was just passing through and Mallory said I should check this place out…” “Oh Mallory said so? Come right in!”). And at Comic Con I met a couple people who are actually real, live, film industry folk in LA, in pre-production. Baby steps, baby steps…
4. I have a contract job for pre and post production for a little video about cross guarding. Yay money! Yay contract jobs! Yay!
5. I have yet another project to add to the list of things: Making my Dad’s board game! I did a post about this already. I think I’ll feel a little more sane and a little more able to organize myself to do projects once I’m working a job regularly and moved in to my own space, so I’m not just sitting by myself at home for hours. I’m like a shark—I need to be on the move all the time to stay alive.
6. I bought Adulting by Kelly Williams Brown. +3 to Adulthood!
I’m looking forward to the future! Today was a good day.
PS: except now that I have a job, I have to tell the other cafe I applied to that I can’t work there! D:
So I just read a few blog posts about men approaching women in public, and a lot of that focus is around rape, and is under the assumption that all women are wandering around afraid of being raped all the time, apparently.
And to be honest, that just isn’t true for some women (or at least, I assume, since I feel this way myself, and I can’t believe that I am so unique in just not being afraid of rape in most situations). Unless you want to invoke Freudian psychology, and say that any discomfort or irritation with a man is somehow fear of being raped, then I don’t believe that most women are actually terrified that the man approaching them on the subway is going to rape them. Most encounters like this happen in public settings, where there’s a much lower threat of assault in general, much less sexual.
This does not mean that these men are behaving in an acceptable manner, but I just want to highlight a slightly different reasoning women might have for being insulted by these men, rather than flattered.
There are two ways to go about telling a random woman she’s pretty. You could just be passing by, and stop and be like “Wow, you look amazing,” and then keep walking. This is the kind of situation that makes women feel awesome, because they’re getting a compliment for all the work that they likely put into their appearance, or just for being themselves.
However, if you go up to someone and say “Hey baby, you’re beautiful,” and keep walking next to them, you’ve likely just ruined her day, because you’re expecting something in return. It’s painfully obvious that you want her to like you too, that you crave attention from this girl, and you’re not asking nicely, you’re demanding it by giving her no polite escape route. You’re not flattering her at all, you’re trying to flatter yourself through sexual conquest. The goal of these situations is not to put this lady at ease or make her feel good about herself, the goal is to get her metaphorically or literally in your pants. To show off to the world that you are good enough to pick up a woman like this.
The difference between confidence and arrogance is expecting something in return from others. Someone who is confident won’t care if others dislike them. Someone who’s arrogant or vain NEEDS people to admire them.
When you approach a woman on the street and won’t leave her alone, you’re being arrogant, and that’s ugly and uninviting. At this point, because of that, there’s likely no way she’s going to say yes to you, out of some version of spite or dislike. So you’re putting her in this position of essentially being forced to reject you. I really dislike rejecting people, so being put in this situation makes me very angry. Why would you make me do something I hate doing? Why would you force me to either pretend I’m the sort of person who likes arrogant assholes, or to reject you publicly, which makes me look like a bitch? Your flattery is not in any way about trying to make me feel good about myself, it’s insulting to my emotions and objectifying me as a trophy.
And the funniest thing for me, at least, is that why would this man assume that I don’t have a boyfriend? Someone who he considers to be beautiful and worthwhile surely has been considered as this by many other men or women. Thus, this man believes he is better than any other person who is in this woman’s life already. So he’s proud as well as vain/arrogant. Sounds like just the guy I’d like to have sex with.
If you want a woman to think you’re confident, don’t ask for her number, give her YOUR number. This immediately says “I’ll let you decide how this goes, I won’t force the issue, but I’m open to the possibility.” It’s not assuming that you’ll get anything in return from her, and therefore becomes a confident action instead of an arrogant one. You’re laying an offering at her feet, instead of trying to get something out of her. Although if you try this tactic, you can’t also then try to initiate a drawn out conversation with her, because that’s going back to being arrogant. Just say “Hey, I think your beautiful, if you want, give me a call sometime” and walk away.
I bet you’ll get more calls than you’d think.
Side note: I’m using the term arrogance mostly just to mean “an ugly form of confidence”, and I realize that the word doesn’t usually encode for attention seeking behavior, although it might when aligned with a concept like “vanity”. If you don’t like the word choice, it really doesn’t matter, what matters is the phenomenon of compliment surfing or needing flattery or attention from others leads to these kinds of situations. Call it whatever you like.
So thus far I’ve mostly talked about graphic fonts—fonts that are more like images than text, that are so heavily stylized that they can only be used for single words or phrases in a graphic design setting.
But for the most part, we all use fonts in writing large bodies of text, which inspires a completely different kind of design.
So right off the bat, I’ll just say that what I look for in everyday fonts is a tall aspect ratio. I love it when letters are a little taller than they are wide. Most fonts, however, are not this way.
I also prefer thinner fonts to thicker ones. I find they’re more legible at smaller sizes.
And last, I really like serif fonts, especially if the serifs are subtle. So with that in mind, my favorite everyday fonts are thus:
1. Adobe Garamond
Tall and slim, this font has serifs similar to Times New Roman (which is an excellent font in it’s own right), but it’s a little more elegant. It’s thinner, with really beautiful uppercase C’s and D’s, and just really graceful contours. Adobe Hebrew is quite similar, just a little thicker.
This is actually a Google font that I discovered recently and quite like. It’s definitely not my usual tall-and-thin type, but it’s an elegant serif font. It’s on the short side, so the uppercase and lowercase letters aren’t that different in height, but it has these adorable little serifs and it’s all round and cute without being unprofessional.
Another thing I look for in serifs particularly is that there not be too much of a difference between thin and fat widths, especially on curves, and that the fattest part of a curve is the middle, instead of it being weighted towards the top or bottom. Times New Roman tends to be weighted towards one end or another of its curves, which I don’t like, but Judson and Adobe Garamond both have beautiful curves.
Baskerville in Microsoft Word is fairly similar to Judson; soft serifs, rounder curves, even distribution of weight on the curves.
3. Century Gothic
I thought I should include a non-serif in here, despite my personal feelings. Century Gothic is a little thick for me, but all of my thinner fonts that resemble it don’t work as well in full bodies of text because of the letter e. I quite like it when the e is tilted counterclockwise, but it doesn’t work as well in bodies of text. Century Gothic, like this font, has the e going straight,
So this is just a short list of fonts that are WAY overused, and are not actually particularly interesting. Because they are so widespread, they can’t really tell a story about your specific product other than to say “I didn’t hire a graphic designer”.
Every time I see this on a banner, sign, website, tshirt, I hiss and cringe. I swear to god, having a few little nicks in the side of a font doesn’t make it interesting or unique! People like this because it looks ethnic and textured, but there are so many better choices. Lithos Pro, for example, looks ethnic and interesting, and is available on every computer with Microsoft Word.
I also just think this font is kind of ugly. While I normally like the high-waisted look, Papyrus is just a little too wide for me to like it (it’s certainly no Hill House), and the rough edges are fairly uniform and don’t really draw the eye in any particular way. Europe Underground Worn has a similar cut-out look, but it really draws the eye because of all the interesting angles created. Even PiratesBay has more interesting edges than Papyrus.
Not only this, but people seem to think that just putting a company name in a wacky font makes it graphic design. NO. If you want your company name to be interesting and unique, you really need to modify the lettering so that there’s more than just type on a page (or banner or whatever). Everyone knows that Avatar basically used Papyrus for the title card, but they actually modified the text quite a bit (I looked very closely at the posters while I was working on ABBAtar). Some of the letters extend beyond the lines, the As are all different, etc. It’s graphic.
2. Bleeding Cowboys
Everybody’s new favorite font for anything you want to make seem Western and edgy. I mean, it’s got all that grungy swirly stuff, that means it’s cool, right? While I don’t think that Bleeding Cowboys is a bad font, it’s just overdone. Not just in the sense that everyone uses it, but it’s just over the top in it’s design. I can barely read many of the letters because of the grunge layers. You don’t need a grungy font to be edgy. Just look at The Dead Saloon or Hotel Coral Essex. I guess this is just me reinforcing my taste for eroded, not grungy fonts.
I thought this font was so cool when I first saw it, and it is, but it’s starting to get overused, and it’s a little problematic because the grunge on the uppercase and “lowercase” (which is actually small caps) is exactly the same. I mean, using any grunge font is problematic because the grunge will be exactly the same. So you have to avoid using them for words with repeated letters, or actually do some graphic design for a change.
Hope you enjoyed my grumblings. Next up, I’ll do a post about my favorite typefaces for every day use.