Chasing That Happy

A girl who has too much to say


So I at first had no understanding of hashtags, and then once I understood them I thought they were foolish, and that I would never use them. Then I saw other people that I respected using them in a way that I found really compelling, and then I started using them here and there, just casually. Now I feel the urge to use them almost all the time, to the point where I might even utter the phrase “hashtag” out loud in conversations.

It is painfully obvious that this is an addiction.

However, I think that hashtags are also a really interesting response to one of the biggest problems with text communications, which is that there isn’t a good way to communicate multiple levels of meaning (i.e. sarcasm, or just complex emotions). Text-based communication has only one form of expression, and that is words. No tonality (although punctuation helps?), no non-standardized utterances (utterances are non-word vocalizations, standards include “um” or “eh”), no hand gestures, no facial expressions (although the answer to this was smilies/emoticons).

Only words. And punctuation and emoticons, but that’s it!

It’s really really hard to communicate with other people this way. We are used to having a plethora of subtle ways to shape our meaning, and instead we are currently reduced to the blandest possible way of conversing with one another.

Hashtags, while obviously only initially intended for aggregating trend information, have turned into a way to add levels of meaning to what you’re saying. I can say one thing #butreallymeananother. There are all kinds of word play and meta-discussions that can be done using hashtags.

Because a hashtag clearly delineates a separate conversation space by the hash, they can be easily distinguished as an aside, which allows for sarcasm to actually exist. The actor says one thing to the other characters in the play, and makes an aside to the audience to reveal their true feelings. The fact that they are alloneword also makes it sort of seem like you’re quickly mumbling under your breath (at least, for me it does), adding comic effect and further delineating separate meaning. (Obviously that particular style of hashtag doesn’t exist on Tumblr itself, but most other social media does it this way.)

So for me, using hashtags is a really important way of expressing myself. I’m constantly frustrated with the inability to effectively communicate what I mean over the internet, and just hoping that people understand. Hashtags are actually a brilliant and surprising evolution of the written language, and I fully encourage more evolutions like it. Language has always been dynamic, so get off your grammar nazi high horses! #kiddingnotkidding





iconic video of my childhood

I still regularly quote this.

I can’t reblog this without providing a link in case anyone doesn’t know what this is.  Because everyone should know what this is, I feel.

still say “HOKAY” and “well have a nap ZEN FIRE ZE MISSILES” it is 2013

And some huge meteor was just like “Whoa, fuck that.”

(Source: lordofthewolves, via chokopoppo)

People on the side of The People always ended up disappointed, in any case. They found that The People tended not to be grateful or appreciative or forward-thinking or obedient. The People tended to be small-minded and conservative and not very clever and were even distrustful of cleverness. And so, the children of the revolution were faced with the age-old problem: it wasn’t that you had the wrong kind of government, which was obvious, but that you had the wrong kind of people.

And soon as you saw people as things to be measured, they didn’t measure up.

What would run through the streets soon enough wouldn’t be a revolution or a riot. It’s be people who were frightened and panicking. It was what happened when all the machinery of a city faltered, the wheels stopped turning, and all the little rules broke down. And when that happened, humans were worse than sheep. Sheep just ran; they didn’t try to bite the sheep next to them.

—   Terry Pratchett, Night Watch (via xirdain)

Terry Pratchett isnt brilliant because he tells stories that have never been told, but because he tells stories that have been told for ages in a way that let us see the world for what it really is.

(via chokopoppo)

Have you ever heard your friend tell a story different several times, and up the stakes in each retelling? Now take that friend telling the story, have them tell it a few times so it’s sufficiently hyperbolized, then have their friends tell the same story to other people a few times, and so on and so forth, for at least 1,000 years. Then let someone write it down.



go to google translate. type a sentence in english and translate it to a language of your choice. translate it again to another language. translate it again. and again. and again. translate it 6 more times. then once more. translate it one final time back to english. what are you left with? something that’s completely different than the original. 

or as we like to call it

the bible


(via chokopoppo)

Reblog if you love Studio Ghibli




If you are a fan of Studio Ghibli, please reblog this so that I can use your url to fill up my newest project.I will be sure to post pictures as I fill this in. If you’re interested in seeing my previous projects, you can click here to see them

I am going to need a lot of urls to fill this in so please reblog and spread this around on tumblr. Thank you!


Update: I’ve put in about 250 urls so far and am pretty happy with how is is coming out. Please keep reblogging guys!

(via chokopoppo)

Episode 4 of my Cog Sci show :3


pros of werewolf boyfriend:

  • happy with any present as long as its chewable
  • very very excited to see you after any period of time apart
  • will lie in your bed and keep you warm whenever you take a nap
  • growls at jerks, may eat them

cons of werewolf boyfriend:

  • absolutely nothing

Cons might include shedding everywhere…

Although any time he goes out as a wolf, he’ll return buck naked. Win.

(Source: officialnyteblayde, via forthegothicheroine)

Levels of Secret

I was playing truth or dare with a friend recently, and we realized that pretty much all people ever ask about in truth or dare are sex and drugs. And it got me thinking about the things that people keep secret. I see there as being roughly 4 levels, and at any time a secret can kind of change between the levels, based on the keepers comfort and/or acceptance of the secret.


The least secret things, but sometimes the least talked about, because usually it isn’t that interesting. Private things are stuff you just don’t talk about because it isn’t really polite, or worth mentioning. What we do in the bathroom is probably at the private level. Our sex life is private; people obviously know it happens, but it isn’t polite to talk about usually. If someone asks, we usually don’t have much issue sharing a private secret.


These are things we keep secret because part of society would maybe look at us funny, or arrest us if they knew about it. Sexual deviancy or fetishes would usually fall under this category, or drug use (since we aren’t supposed to do it where it’s illegal). Taboo things are obviously only secret from the part of society that would censor them, and there’s no issue in revealing them to others who share the taboo practice.


Stuff that we just don’t want to relive. I really don’t have to elaborate on this, I think. But it is fundamentally different than the next one, and the difference is that embarrassing things are based in actions, they are stupid things we DID, not stupid things we WERE. If we are pressed, we might reveal embarrassing things to people we trust. 


Stuff that makes us feel worried or bad about ourselves. Childhood abuse, family alcoholism, going to jail. Stuff that we don’t want to talk about because it reminds us how bad we feel about ourselves, or by kinship if it’s a close relative. Shame is when you feel that you ARE bad, not that you did something bad. Of course, if we learn to accept that we were not the cause of whatever it is that shames us, it transitions into something embarrassing. Shameful things would only be revealed to people we have serious trust in.


Things other people told us to keep secret. I would say that on a case by case basis, people may determine how secret these secrets really need to be. Obviously government secrets need to be kept at all costs, while the person your friend just slept with might not be as closely guarded.

Weird Side Effects of ADHD

I would add “…That Nobody Really Realizes”, but that would sound too much like a Buzzfeed.

This is mainly just an extrapolation off of

1. Forgetting Important Things

Usually ADHD gets press for the hyperactive part, the jumping from stimuli to stimuli, but people don’t realize how this affects other cognitive processes, like memory. It’s really hard to remember things (which is to say, things like dates, or items you need to bring, etc) when you have ADHD, because in order for something to be committed to long-term memory, you have to basically re-recall the memory several times over a long period. The typical ADHD person will often be distracted half-way through, and the likelihood of them deciding to retrieve that memory at the appropriate time is a crapshoot. Sometimes you get lucky and something situational triggers you to randomly remember you need to buy eggs, but more often than not, this carefully recorded fact goes un-accessed until the missed item or date is long-forsaken.

This also applies to conversations on occasion. Sometimes when I talk to someone, I don’t have to even have my eyes open and I’m perfectly attentive. However, very randomly, without warning, even if I’m looking at them in the face, I’ll get distracted by an internal tangent, and their voice is tuned out almost entirely and without my knowledge. Then later when they say “Hey, did you remember to do this thing I told you?” And I literally just have no recollection of them ever telling me that.

"I told you like, five hundred times!"


"Yes I did!" etc.

2. Inability to Fall Asleep

For most of my life I’ve dreaded trying to go to bed. As a child, my head would be swirling with terrors lurking in the room, and as I aged, I would often turn to darker topics, as my brain extrapolated from one depressing subject to another. This is typically referred to as “Rushing Thoughts”, and would sometimes go on for only half and hour, but at it’s worst has kept me up for hours into the night. Not that ADHD means you think about depressing things, but rather that you jump from topic to topic, and there is never EVER a moment of zen (meditation is a completely alien idea to me). So when deprived of most stimuli, the brain creates it, and especially at night this can be a breeding ground for bad thoughts. It’s 10 times easier for me to fall asleep in a well-lit room full of loud people than it is for me to sleep in a dark, quiet room. My saviors are books on tape and TV

I wouldn’t be surprised if insomnia and ADHD had a high comorbidity rate for this reason. (comorbidity = simultaneously occurring conditions)

3. Pattern Recognition

I see patterns and associations everywhere I go. Our brains are designed to see connections between things; it’s one of the reasons why humans are so smart. This is a good survival trait, so when we make a connection, there’s a little *ping* of reward (aka dopamine). ADHD is essentially having a constant dopamine craving, so while this mainly manifests in noticing novel stimuli (which is based on another human trait: curiosity), it also means that people with ADHD really like to see patterns and make connections. We’re constantly going off on crazy tangents in our heads, because everything reminds us of something else.

This sometimes means that someone with ADHD can see a connection where others can’t, and thus can solve problems more efficiently. But most of the time it just means that I think lots of people look like celebrities, and no one agrees with me.

4. Inability to do Homework (or other boring things)

Now I know that this is fairly common knowledge, but I feel like this is a side of ADHD that people have a hard time understanding because they don’t know the underlying cause.

ADHD is* a result of a lack of the neurotransmitter dopamine, which is mainly used in the reward systems, which affects the attentional system. When you notice something new, you get a small reward. When you see a pattern, you get a small reward. When someone says something nice to you, you get a small reward, etc.

Most people in the world have a sufficient amount of dopamine (which is a stimulant, hence why Ritalin is used to treat ADHD) that they feel fine doing boring tasks. Obviously it isn’t ideal, but you slog through it because you know that there’s a reward at the end (getting good grades, getting to take a break, getting paid, etc).

When you have ADHD, however, not getting lots of little dopamine bursts for an extended period of time is TREACHEROUS. Imagine that someone is pushing you towards the edge of a cliff, and every single fiber of your being is trying to push back against them. It’s not quite a physical feeling, but it nearly is. It’s this overwhelming sense of “NO I DONT WANT TO PLEASE DONT MAKE ME”. Because we need that extra push of dopamine just to feel normal. It’s not just that we get distracted during homework, or that we’re lazy. Our brains are painfully craving to be doing something, ANYTHING other than the boring work. Any distraction that happens during these tasks is just dopamine seeking behavior, rather than willfully not doing the work. I’ve tried to force myself to do things I don’t want to, and I end up staring blankly at the page, while a thousand thoughts fly through my head about everything else in my life.

It sucks.

5. Hyper-focus

However, if we find something rewarding to do, we can get really sucked into it, likely because of a state called “flow”. Look up “flow and video games” in google scholar if you want to see what I’m talking about.

Actually there are kind of two aspects of ADHD: there’s always the distraction component and a difficulty with directing attention, but there’s different manifestations of distraction.

Hyperactivity is one of them, which is the typical “oh look a bird!” kind of kids, the kids who can’t sit down, who notice a million things around them.

But there’s also hyperfocus. These tend to be the more introverted kids, the ones off in dreamland, who are constantly distracted by their internal lives. They are unable to redirect their attention once they’ve been sucked into something, rather than their attention being constantly grabbed by other things.

Obviously it’s not all one or the other in any given person, but most of the world tends to forget the hyperfocused aspect of ADHD.

Really what it comes down to is what is the most rewarding for the person who has ADHD, because whatever that thing is, they’re just going to gravitate towards that.

*my idea of what ADHD is comes from research papers** I did as an Undergrad a couple years ago, so the research could be outdated by now, but probably not.

**and obviously my anecdotal experience as someone with ADHD who grew up in a household of other people with diagnosed ADHD.

If you want to learn about brains and you know it clap your hands! Or just watch the video.